Standing Between: Becoming, Belonging, and Wisdom in Midlife

Lately, I’ve found myself sitting quietly in the mornings, reflecting on how much of my life was spent striving. Striving to heal, to grow, to become, to understand who I was supposed to be. And somewhere along the way, something shifted.

I’m in my fifties now, and I often feel like I’m standing between worlds. No longer fully identified with the nurturing and self-sacrificing role of the Mother, and not yet the Crone in the eyes of society. Instead, I see this stage of life as something powerful in its own right:

The time of the Sovereign Woman.

The Sovereign Queen.

A woman who has lived enough life to know herself more deeply. A woman who begins trusting her intuition, her wisdom, her boundaries, and her voice. A woman who no longer feels the same need to seek permission, explain herself, or shape-shift to meet everyone else’s expectations.

This is the season of the Sovereign Woman—wise, strong, and unapologetically whole.

My dear friend Shae embodied this energy beautifully. In her fifties, she consciously stepped into the identity of the Queen. Not from ego or superiority, but from self-respect, discernment, and deep self-knowing. She taught me that there comes a point in a woman’s life where she must stop waiting to be chosen, validated, or defined by others and instead claim her own authority.

That archetype stayed with me.

Because I think this is exactly where many women in midlife truly stand. Not fading. Not disappearing. Not becoming less.

But becoming sovereign.

Recently, I created a vision board for a course I had developed, calling it a Becoming Board. The idea was to chart who I wanted to become. But as I answered the questions and reflected deeply, I realized something surprising:

I didn’t need to become anyone.

I was already her.

The work had already been done. I simply needed to trust it and step into the life I had been quietly building all along.

Shae Alton taught me that sovereignty begins the moment a woman remembers she was always meant to wear her own crown. June 26, 1944 - February 10, 2024

This year, my affirmation is simple and grounding:

I live a sacred and balanced life.

Not striving to prove myself. Not chasing some ideal version of who I think I should be. Simply embodying what I already am.

The Archetypal Journey of Womanhood

Reading When the Dark Mother Calls resonated with me deeply. It reminded me of the timeless archetypal journey women move through across a lifetime: the Maiden, the Mother, the Sovereign Queen, and the Crone.

The Maiden is curiosity, exploration, and becoming. She seeks identity and learns through experience.

The Mother nurtures, holds space, and carries responsibility. Not always literally through motherhood, but emotionally, spiritually, and energetically.

The Sovereign Queen embodies authority, discernment, and self-trust. She sets boundaries, speaks honestly, and refuses to abandon herself to keep others comfortable.

The Crone carries wisdom, release, and sacred simplicity. She understands what truly matters and no longer wastes energy performing for the world.

For me, midlife isn’t about leaving one archetype behind in order to become the next. All of these aspects coexist within us. There are still places in me that are curious like the Maiden, nurturing like the Mother, boundary-setting like the Queen, and deeply reflective like the Crone.

I am the story, I am the healer, I am the keeper of wisdom.

Midlife feels less like becoming someone new and more like integration. A gathering together of all the selves we have been.

Midlife Reflections and Lessons Learned

One thing I’ve noticed about this stage of life is how much more comfortable I’ve become expressing what I want and showing up as myself without the same fear of judgment I carried when I was younger. I notice this in many women my age. There is a kind of liberation that comes from having lived, made mistakes, survived heartbreaks, learned difficult lessons, and reclaimed your voice.

This was not something I learned from my mother.

She was a strong woman, but her life was shaped by the expectations of her generation. She cared deeply for everyone around her, especially my father, often placing herself last. There was love there, but also self-sacrifice that at times felt painful to witness. She never fully claimed space for her own desires, identity, or purpose.

Because of that, I found myself looking elsewhere for examples.

My mother was a strong woman shaped by the expectations of her generation, and it was through her grandchildren that I saw a softer, more present part of her finally emerge. Shirley Marie Dirksen March 29, 1935 - June 15, 2025

I found them in older women who carried themselves with honesty, strength, humour, wisdom, and unapologetic presence. Women who had learned to say “no” and mean it. Women who no longer needed permission to take up space.

Through them, I learned that authenticity carries more power than compliance ever will.

I learned that midlife is not about fading into the background.

It is about standing fully in yourself.

Embracing the In-Between

Midlife is often treated by society like a waiting room. Too old to be celebrated for youth. Too young to be revered for wisdom. And yet, I believe it is one of the most powerful thresholds in a woman’s life.

Menopause, changing relationships, shifting careers, spiritual awakenings, grief, healing, reinvention, exhaustion, freedom, rediscovery… all of it converges here.

And beneath all of that change is a deeper invitation:

To finally come home to yourself.

Midlife also offers something many women were never truly given earlier in life: permission.

Women who have lived, lost, learned, and finally given themselves permission to take up space without apology.

In our younger years, so much energy is spent surviving, caregiving, proving ourselves, maintaining relationships, raising children, managing homes, or trying to fit into roles we inherited without ever questioning whether they were right for us. Somewhere along the way, many women lose touch with what genuinely lights them up inside.

Not because they failed themselves.

Because life demanded so much from them for so long.

But eventually something begins to shift.

There is often a quiet reckoning in midlife. A sense that time matters differently now. The question becomes less about who we are supposed to be and more about what feels meaningful, nourishing, creative, and true.

For some women, purpose emerges through painting, writing, gardening, music, travel, or finally allowing themselves to create simply because it feeds the soul. For others, it appears through meaningful work, mentoring younger women, deepening spiritual practice, building community, or becoming more intentionally present with children and grandchildren.

Purpose in midlife does not always arrive as one dramatic revelation.

Sometimes it arrives softly.

A quiet longing.

A recurring curiosity.

A dream that refuses to disappear.

A part of yourself patiently waiting to be expressed.

I believe this stage of life asks women not to shrink, but to expand inwardly. To reclaim the parts of themselves that were placed on hold. To trust the wisdom they’ve earned through lived experience. To stop apologizing for their intuition, sensitivity, creativity, depth, or spiritual knowing.

For me, this in-between space feels sacred.

I can nurture and still hold boundaries.

I can soften without abandoning my strength.

I can continue growing spiritually, creatively, personally, and professionally while also honouring rest, balance, and embodiment.

I no longer feel the same urgency to prove myself.

I simply want to live fully and truthfully.

Supporting Women Through Their Own Journey

This is also the heart of the work I feel called to do.

Through hypnosis, Reiki, and intuitive spiritual guidance, I support women in reconnecting with themselves beneath the noise of conditioning, exhaustion, fear, grief, and expectation. Not by “fixing” them, but by helping them remember who they already are.

So many women carry deep wisdom within themselves but have spent years doubting it, silencing it, or placing everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. Midlife can become a sacred threshold where that begins to change.

A time to heal.

A time to create.

A time to rediscover purpose.

A time to consciously choose how the next chapter will be lived.

I believe women become extraordinarily powerful when they begin trusting themselves again.

There is something powerful about a woman who finally trusts herself enough to stand fully in her own truth.

A Sacred and Balanced Life

The journey continues, and I am still learning who I am and how I can grow: as a woman, a partner, a mother, an entrepreneur, and a seeker of spiritual depth.

But I no longer feel I need to prove my worth or endlessly strive to become someone I am not.

I am simply stepping into the life and self I have cultivated all along.

I live a sacred and balanced life.

This is my invitation to myself and perhaps to other women standing in this same in-between space:

Trust yourself.

Honour what calls to you.

Take up space in your own life.

Allow yourself to evolve without abandoning who you already are.

There is wisdom here.

There is becoming here.

There is still so much life waiting to be lived.

Not fading.

Not disappearing.

Not becoming less.

But becoming sovereign.